A Headache Coming On

A quick glance at today's headlines reveals an overabundance of societal problems. Everything from economic troubles and crime to lack of respect for authority and dietary issues.

An item on the Internet caught my eye recently. It's a story that sums up rather neatly the grave situation we find ourselves in during the infancy of the 21st century in America.

A 400 pound, that's right, four hundred pound, unemployed woman who had given up looking for a job, decided to take matters into her own hands. She went on a shoplifting spree. Alas, she was nabbed by security when the cart she was riding on got caught in the store's automatic doors. A security device on the merchandise she had pilfered caused an alarm to go off. The store guards attempted to arrest the loudly cursing behemoth, but were repulsed by her hefty jabs and uppercuts. They had to taser her, several times, and eventually got her under chains while they awaited a tow truck to free the tangled cart.

Needless to say, if the economy was recovered to the point where our heroine could find gainful employment, or if she had watched what she ate and perhaps even worked out regularly, she no doubt would now be a free woman and not incarcerated behind bars and threatening to sue the store where she was apprehended for discrimination against obese people. She is also planning to sue the mechanized cart company for faulty products, although the company in question is in China so good luck with that lawsuit.

The old Greek Diogenes was buried on his head (per his wishes) because - after failing to find an honest man- he feared that very soon the world would be upside down. This is not an uncommon sensation during times of trial and upheaval. For example, when the British surrendered at Yorktown, General Cornwallis had their band play The World Turned Upside Down. As our society dissolves into a repugnant stew of selfish thoughtlessness, I feel the earth tremble beneath my feet and sense the shimmering of the earth's axis.

Will the coming upheaval stand old Diogenes on his feet, or, is he already standing tall upon bony feet somewhere in the deep loam of Hellas?